Alright, so I know that I'm supposed to start with something lighter and fluffier than this, but it is what spurred me to actually create this thing in the first place, so you get what you get. At work I have a bit of down time on occasions, and today was such a day. Surfing through the infamous interwebs, I stumbled upon (Not on Stumble Upon) something that bothered me. It was a yahoo topic, featuring that blonde from Glee and some photographer.
I won't bog you down with any of my opinions on either of them until you actually understand what's got me so worked up about it. In a day and age where domestic violence is something that is negative and pushed under the rug, we do our best to get the message out there that there IS somewhere/something/someone you can turn to if you need help getting out of one of these situations. Personally, I am a proud member of Alpha Chi Omega sorority and out number one philanthropy is The Prevention of Domestic Abuse. So now you've got a bit more of an image of my ideals.
So this yahoo blurb was about a series of phtographs done by photographer Tyler Shields. Let's bypass the fact that these images were poorly shot, too bright, posed poorly, and the model looked strung out. Let's not worry that the poses were contrived, let us instead look at the model's face. Her left eye to be exact, because it is that left eye that everyone is going to see, oh and maybe the ironing board she lays on, the ironing chord that is wrapped around her wrist and holds her like she's chained, and perhaps the iron that she uses as a water source.
So now you've got the general image of what she's doing: the domestic chore of ironing. So let me color you an image, if you will. She's pretty, blonde, long legged and pale skinned. She's got on a pok-a-dot little black and white dress (we'll get to the stupidity of that later) and she's sporting the shiner of the century while some masculine hand holds the iron whose chord is wrapped around her hands, holding her back. So you've got the picture right? The woman is supposed to represent the 1/4 women who will be in a relationship where they are abused. For those of you who don't like math, that's one in four women. Do you have four female friends? Think about it for a moment...yeah? Well picture one of them being beating or berated by their significant other, because odds are, one of them will be.
So now I've bored you with stats. Let me bring it back around for you. The punchline if you'll forgive the harsh phrasing for the situation. This woman, who is beautiful and "perfect" in nature, has been abused. Now imagine you're a woman who has been beaten by her spouse. Your sense of self has been torn apart and beaten down far more than your body. Now some asshole with a camera shoots a picture of a "Barbie-doll" laying, smiling, on an ironing board with a black eye. Smiling. Happy. So now you're abused, thinking about maybe leaving, and then BAM! this young thing is telling you that she's happy to be beaten.
So we'll take it a step further to the photographer's own words, "Even Barbie gets bruises." Let me for a second, allow you to percolate on that statement.
Enough time? No? Go ahead and really soak it up.
You pissed yet? Good, because this sleeze bag of the centure just said that EVERYONE is beaten. Did I list that statistic before incorrectly? 1:4. 1/4 1in 4. That is not a 100%, and it is a statistic that is supported by the United States Center For Prevention of Domestic Abuse. Everyone does not get abused, yet this jackass has essentially told women everywhere that it is just A-OK to let their spouse hit them. Now, I'd like to go back to our earlier exercise.
Imagine you're an abused partner in a relationship. Got that mind set? Selfless. Useless. Depressed. Self loathing. You there yet? Good, because now some idiot who has a camera and a well known actress that is seen by literally millions of young women at least once a week on a new up and coming television show, is going to tell you that its okay that you get beaten, because even Ken hits Barbie on occasion. Seriously? What jackass let this girl sign that contract? What masoginist was behind the camera? Now I know that to be taken seriously you're supposed to use big PC words that won't make you look like you're too stupid to come up with "good words", but these are words that are used to express anger, frustration, and rage (Lewis Black I hope you don't mind I just stole your phrasing, I'm sure you'd find it appropriate). FUCK! Come on, what dickless fuck told this man that his First Amendment Right was OK to exercise? Yeah, you CAN post what you want, doesn't mean you SHOULD.
But I digress. So you're an abused woman living with a man you're about to leave. You've finally made the decision that you've had enough. Now you've got this young girl who does chores with a smile on her face and a bruise around her eye. Then the very statement, "Even Barbie Gets Bruises" tells you that maybe you should stay. If all women are abused, maybe the next man is worse. Maybe you're just not strong enough. Maybe you should just give up. Now you've got this mindset that perhaps your guy is a normal guy. So you stay, and then the next time you fix mashed potatoes instead of baked he beats you until you're laying in a hosptial bed waiting for the surgery to open up your skull and reduce the brain bleed that might paralyze you for life.
I'm not saying that this man should not have the right to take these photographs. I'm not saying that he shouldn't have the right to publish them. I'm just saying that perhaps the world at large should take a step back, look at what was done here, and eviscerate him in literature until he is no longer capable of finding work.
Normally I would sign this with a "Deuces and Later Days", but for some women and men out there that are the victims of domestic abuse there might not be later days, so I'll take my normally flippant sign off and leave you with something a little more. If you need help, an ear, a shoulder, a way out, there are resources. I'll leave you with a number that you can call if you need help. Its 24-hours and nation wide. Please, if you are the victim of domestic abuse, know that there are people out there who can help, and know that this is not acceptable.
United States Government Hotline for Prevention of Domestic Abuse:
These numbers are available for Spanish and English speaking alike.
24-hour call line number: 1-800-799-SAFE that's 1-800-799-7233.
If you're hearing impared, there is a TDD option at 1-800-787-3224
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