CYOA: Cover Your Own Ass

Alright, so I understand that the last post I wrote should have been the fluffy, light weight one, but I just had to do this. I'll start off by telling you a story...

So I'm walking toward the library this morning, just to go print something and get a iced carmel macciatto, aka crack on ice. It was a beautiful day, sunny with a light breeze, and nothing could get me down, because, damnit, I had money for coffee. So I'm walking along, a song in my heart and a poem in my soul, when I happen to step behind a blonde girl walking to the self same library. Now, I walk along, and as a normal human, vaguely give a perusal of my surroundings. There's a fairly cute man to my left, smoking (major turnoff), there's a girl talking to her mom on the phone, and then there's the blonde.

So at first my brain blocks it out, you know, how you don't really see the dead person in the room until you actually look at the floor and see the blood? So she stops, bends over, and picks something up off the ground, and there it is! I wasn't sure how I didn't see it sooner, but she's got these green tights on...and that's it. Now I know what some of you are thinking, that they're thick dancer's tights that aren't see through. You'd be wrong, but you would be painting a nicer world.

So she's got these see through green tights on, with this short little sweater, that she doesn't keep pulling down so it's now around her hips, and the world can see that she clearly does not mow the grass down there, if you know what I mean. So I figure, I'll let her know that her shirt's around her belly button, you know, and she'll fix it!

So I saunter up quickly, tap her on the shoulder, and kindly tell her that her top has ridden up. She looks at me, looks down, shrugs her shoulders, and keeps walking. Now I'm not a prude, I like to let the girls hang out from time to time, but its always with a bra on and a shirt that keeps nip from being seen. This trollop is wearing women's undergarments as a pair of pants! And you know what? Someone in the library told her it was cute! I SAW crotch hair and they think its cute? World, come on, do me a favor, find you're melons and firmly attach them, because in no universe is crotch hair cute. With the world at my back, please, please, please, women and men, CYOA...and crotch.